January 8, 2009



Hello - my name is Jenn and this has been an incredibly difficult year. April 24th, 2008 my husband took me to the mall - under the pretense that we were going to a movie. At the food court he proceeded to express that he was not happy, he was moving out that day, and then he whipped out divorce papers. This was from a guy that was a complete depressing stoner that had difficulty getting his ass to do anything outside of his job. Explain to me how someone like that finds the time and energy to set up a new house without me even knowing a thing. I was completely blindsided and cannot believe this is my life. What I will also say is that I now feel as though I have been released from a prison. I would never have left him because we have a child and I would walk through fire for that kid or.............I would stay with a depressing, rarely fun man for the unity of family. I am sad for my child but man my future looks a great deal brighter then it did when I was with that depressing man...........he too was SERIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT --420lbs. or so.



But this is about me and my weight loss journey with Optifast. Today is the end of day 7 and I am feeling confident. From experience I can tell you that you should NEVER cheat or choose to eat as there is no turning back. I have never met anyone that can choose to eat occassionally and still get back on the program. Anytime I start to feel weak I say to myself, "what do I want?". I watched that movie with Meg Ryan and several other big stars.. it wasn't a very good movie but it had a good message............what do you want? I want to feel the desire to date again and when I do I want to date whom I want and not settle for what I would get at this weight. I am terrified to date by the way. What do I want? On the anniversary that asshole left me I want others to look and me and think -- "what was he thinking?"...............What do I want? I want to feel good. ............What do I want? I want my judgemental fat-phobic parents to treat me like a normal person. ...............what do I want? I want to SURF with my son this spring and summer. I have to say that I cannot weigh myself until after 4 weeks as I tend to get messed up with the numbers. I need to see a big number and I imagine after 4 weeks the number will be big enough for me to continue on the fast. I have never tried to go this route but I am not playing games this time...............I plan to succeed! April 24th is coming quickly!